Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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