I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
