And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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