Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize