Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
