He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
