mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
