come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
