Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
