Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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