I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
