Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
