I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When are your genitals available?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
