I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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