I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
