loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
