She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
