my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's just like the Real World with babies
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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