Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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