i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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