You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
