tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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