He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
