Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
