I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Houston, we have a blender
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
