Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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