just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
