that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it glows. i had to have it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
