she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
