I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
