i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
