im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
