at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
