I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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