your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
