Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
They are going to name an STD after you.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
