Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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