some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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