Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just cropdusted the office
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
