my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Every concussion has its silver lining
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
