how can u be prego again
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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