Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I need help removing her.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
