Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
