dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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