who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
