I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
