I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
