hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
