I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
