She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
