its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
