What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Two words: nipple clamps
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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