SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
