oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
