after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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